Immortality Kindled
by DecaTilde
Summary: Stewie radiates Brian's collar with an immortality serum, meaning that if he waers it, he cannot age or die. But is this new immortality what Brian really needs, or could it cost him dearly?
1. Gray Hair

_Immortality Kindled_

A _Family Guy_ fanfiction

By LDEJRuff

* * *

Author's note: This is something that just popped into my head. I wanted to base this story on a scene from "Life of Brian" and mix it in with a comic book character's ability.

* * *

Chapter 1 – Gray Hair

* * *

It was 10:30 AM on a normal Saturday morning in the Griffin house when Brian and Vinny were watching something on TV while sitting on the couch in the living room. While they were watching, Vinny noticed something on Brian.

"Hey, what's that on your fur?" he pointed.

Brian replied, "What's _what_?"

"That," Vinny replied back. "It looks like your fur's got a speck of gray hair."

"Oh, that's probably part of my aging, Vinny," Brian answered. "I may be a young dog, but I'm still eight years old."

"Eight, eh?" Vinny said, surprised. "Ain't that the dog time equivalent of fifty-six? I wouldn't worry about it _too_ much, B. I'm a year younger than you, you know."

"Dogs can get wiser when they age, like humans do."

"Boy, if I were like Paulie Gualtieri from _The Sopranos_ , I'd know."

"But Vin, you do _sound_ like Paulie."

"Good point."

Stewie couldn't help but hear their discussion from upstairs, so, he decided to work on a little something for Brian. It took some time, though.


	2. A Test Run

Chapter 2 – A Test Run

* * *

Later that day, while Brian was taking a shower in the bathroom, Stewie took his collar, which was resting on the sink as usual, and did something to it. While he was about to return it to the bathroom, Vinny noticed.

"Stewie, what are you doing with Brian's collar?" he asked.

"I overheard you two talking about his aging earlier today," Stewie answered, "so I decided to do a little something to Brian's collar for a few minutes."

"You... you did something to Brian's collar?"

Stewie nodded.

"Later on, I'm going to try a little experiment when he gets the mail."

"What _are_ you gonna do?" Vinny shrugged.

"Oh, you'll see, Vin."

With that, Stewie opened the bathroom door and placed the collar back on the sink. While Stewie exited the bathroom, Brian was nearly done taking a shower.

"Doo-dee-doo-doo-doo," Brian sang while scrubbing his armpits. "Taking a shower. Taking a little break to bite at the water." He chomped at the water coming from the shower head before turning the water off.

Coming out of the shower, he got on all fours to shake the water off, drying himself, and placed a towel around his waist. He put his collar on, unaware of what was going on. He opened the door to see Vinny near the stairs.

"Oh, hey, Vin," Brian greeted.

"Hey, B," Vinny replied, nervously. "D-Did you save enough water for me?"

"Sure did," Brian nodded.

"Than-Thank you."

Brian noticed that something wasn't right when Vinny entered the bathroom.

 _"Something weird is going on with Vinny, but what?"_ Brian thought.

* * *

At 2:00 PM, the Griffins were having lunch in the kitchen.

"Everyone," Lois announced, "I know you all thought we were going to Grandpa Carter's mansion again this Summer, but I'm afraid we aren't going this time."

"Oh, Mom," Chris moaned.

"Why not?" Meg shrugged.

"Because we're going on a vacation," Lois happily answered.

"Really?" Chris responded joyously. "Wow, thanks, Mom."

"Where are we going this Summer?" Meg asked.

"Do you remember our attempt to go to the Grand Canyon, but decided to bail because we left Stewie home? Well, we've decided to go there this time, _with_ Stewie."

"Oh, that's great, Mom!" Chris said.

Brian then sensed something. "I sense the mailman coming. Excuse me for a second, I'll be right back."

With that, Brian ran out the door and started barking at the mailman, who then ran off.

As soon as Brian got near the mailbox, Brian shouted, "You mother******! Get out of here or I'll kill you!" Calm then, he continued, "But come back on Monday, same time. I get very sad on Sundays when you're not here."

Just then, he got shot in the back and fell seemingly lifeless.

Stewie had just shot Brian from his bedroom. Vinny was shocked.

"Holy crap!" Vinny shouted. "Did you just kill Brian?! That's sick, dude!"

"Hold on, Vinny," Stewie halted. "This is part of the test run."

"Test run?" Vinny repeated. " _What_ test run?"

"You'll see, right...about...now."

Back outside, Brian got up, groaning and still alive. The bullet wound on his back quickly healed.

"What happened?" he asked himself.

Peter, Lois, Meg and Chris ran out of the house, alarmed.

"Brian," Lois said, voice seemingly shaking, "we heard a gunshot. What happened?"

"I dunno," Brian shrugged.

Back in Stewie's room, Vinny's jaw dropped in surprise.

"I can't believe it," he said. "Brian survived the gunshot wound he just got?"

"Mmm-hmm," Stewie nodded. "I just wanted to test out the healing radiation I gave Brian's collar today."

"So _that's_ what you did?" Vinny replied. "But how?"

"Remember the revival ray, which I gave Brian to revive New Brian? I repeated the same technology to radiate Brian's collar. Now, every time Brian wears his collar, he can't get hurt or die."

"Just like DC villain Vandal Savage?"

"Not quite, Vinny," Stewie answered. "He'll still be vulnerable when he's not wearing it. I'd rather not have a repeat of what happened during Season 12 Episode 6."

"Well, _that's_ a relief," Vinny smiled. "And Brian _is_ lucky to be alive this time."

"However, we must never tell the rest of the family about this," Stewie replied, "Unless something else unthinkable happens."

* * *

Inside his house, Glenn Quagmire, who saw Brian get shot and instantly get healed, was shocked and surprised.

"Oh, my God," Glenn's voice quivered. "How can this be possible? Brian Griffin...is immortal?"

* * *

Author's note: The scene of Brian coming out of the shower is combined from scenes from FG1204 - "A Fistful of Meg" and FG0420 - "Patriot Games". The scene of Brian barking at the mailman is based on FG1116 - "12 and a Half Angry Men".


	3. Glenn Requests

Chapter 3 - Glenn Requests

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The next day, after the Griffins returned home from church, while they were busy watching TV in the living room, the doorbell rang, getting their attention. Brian opened the door and saw that it was...

"Quagmire? What are _you_ doing here?"

"Hey, Brian," Glenn greeted politely. "Hey, is it okay while I talk to you in private while I visit you guys?"

Brian felt a little creeped out at Glenn's appearance.

"S...Sure, G-G-Glenn," Brian replied nervously. "Why not?"

With that, Brian led Glenn all the way upstairs. Stewie and Vinny noticed them, and shrugged.

"I dunno," Vinny said to Stewie, unsure.

* * *

"What is it you want to talk to me about, Glenn?" Brian asked after leading him to Lois and Peter's bedroom. "Is this about my boredom to you again?"

"What? No, of course not." With that, Glenn looked left, then right, then left again to make sure nobody else was in their area, then had a worried look on his face. "Now, Brian, yesterday, when I saw you get the mail, you fell on your front after you got shot, then got back up again. I saw your bullet wound quickly heal."

"What are you talking about, Glenn?" Brian shrugged.

"I'm talking about the fact that you may be immortal, Brian, like you're the Messiah or something," Glenn answered.

"You think I could be like Jesus?" Brian asked. He then burred his lips and chuckled. "You must be cray-cray!"

"I'm _not_ cray-cray," Glenn replied, "I actually saw you get shot then get back up yesterday."

"You sure about this, Glenn? Maybe you should take a closer look at me when the family is going to the Grand Canyon tomorrow, just in case."

"Yeah, maybe I _should_. After all, I _am_ going to take a break from dating for a while. My mother and genderbent father would understand."

 **Cutaway:** We see Ida and Crystal in front of a black background.

"We know you deserve a break, Glenn," Ida said.

"That's right, honey," Crystal added.

Back to the bedroom.

"Hey, is it okay if I ride along in the Prius with Stewie and Vinny?" Glenn requested.

"I don't see why not, Glenn," Brian answered, shrugging.


End file.
